Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Lazy?
Lately, I've been having awesome detailed dreams... but it's like I lose all excitement in writing them, when I sit in front of my computer... :( It's sad, but I think I'm going through Blog-depression... LOL
Roob'n
Lately, I've been having awesome detailed dreams... but it's like I lose all excitement in writing them, when I sit in front of my computer... :( It's sad, but I think I'm going through Blog-depression... LOL
Roob'n
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Leap?
They both stood there, on the edge of the precipice.
“I’m scared”, she said. But he already knew it. He had seen it in her eyes when she had agreed to do this. When she had squeezed his hand in hers as they were taking the few steps toward the edge. When he felt her shiver and sweat.
She was teary-eyed. Sad. Afraid to disappoint him. Or maybe, sad because she had .
“It’s okay”, he tried to soothe her, “I understand.”
“You are crazy. I can see that now.”, she told him, halfway in tears, “And I’m not crazy with you. I thought I was crazy in love. I thought that this was true insanity… but it’s not. Please, don’t do this. Please don’t jump without me. Don’t leave me alone.”
“I don’t want to jump alone”, he replied, “I want to find the one that will jump with me. But I guess I never will. I’ll spend here, the rest of my life, standing…”
“I love you”, she said.
“Not enough”, he smiled at her.
“I’m so sorry!”, she cried now, burying her face in his chest.
He comforted her, caressing the back of her hair with his hand, and embracing her with his other arm. He eyed the precipice; the fall, the drop. He wanted freedom. He wanted peace. He wanted to jump. But he could not bring himself to let go of her.
When she looked up, he was crying too.
“Kiss me”, she asked of him.
“I want to”, he replied, “I want you to kiss me with obsession. I want you to want me selfishly, and rue if I can’t be completely yours. I am insane. I want you for me. This is how I would kiss you. Deranged. How will you kiss me ?”
“In some ways…”, she answered, “…you still want me to jump.”
“I’m already falling”, he said.
“I don’t want you to be alone”, she told him, “I want to be with you.”
“But you’re not”, he explained.
She did not have a response. Her glance fell, and she turned her back to him.
“I’m sorry”, he said, “I’m sorry for my faults, my complications. I love you too. With all my energy and devotion and purpose. I’m sorry if that scares you. I’m sorry if that’s not the way to love. I’m sorry you had to fall in love with me …”
“I’m not”, she replied, still not facing him. “I just wish this wasn’t about your jump!”, she suddenly turned to him, “I wish we could jump together, our own jump!”
“My jump is the one of the needy”, he explained, “My jump is the one for the ill. I need this because I am weak and I can’t overcome it. I need this because I am sick. My mind is sick. My heart is sick. I need love to wrap me as if it were made for me . I need love to kill me because I know not any more life without it. My jump is to love me !”
“I love you and yet I cannot jump…”, she sighed.
“I know”, he spoke softly, “Your freedom lies in that you don’t have to jump!”
“No, because I am bound by my love for you!”, she protested.
“Then be free”, he told her, “Leave me to gaze at this unhealthy precipice, alone! Leave me to wander in my own unresolved wait!”
“I don’t want to leave you!”, she cried at him, “I want to wait with you! I want to wait for you…”
“And if I jump …?”, he turned his eyes from hers, and towards the drop.
“Don’t ”, her voice caressed him. She embraced him in a tight hug. Warm and beautiful. He cried again.
“It is I who is bound to you !”, he said, “I will live, forever wanting to jump without giving it a second thought… But never without you. I will live, always standing here, never without you.”
She kissed him. The best way she could.
And in some ways… they fell together.
by: Rubén
Roob'n
They both stood there, on the edge of the precipice.
“I’m scared”, she said. But he already knew it. He had seen it in her eyes when she had agreed to do this. When she had squeezed his hand in hers as they were taking the few steps toward the edge. When he felt her shiver and sweat.
She was teary-eyed. Sad. Afraid to disappoint him. Or maybe, sad because she had .
“It’s okay”, he tried to soothe her, “I understand.”
“You are crazy. I can see that now.”, she told him, halfway in tears, “And I’m not crazy with you. I thought I was crazy in love. I thought that this was true insanity… but it’s not. Please, don’t do this. Please don’t jump without me. Don’t leave me alone.”
“I don’t want to jump alone”, he replied, “I want to find the one that will jump with me. But I guess I never will. I’ll spend here, the rest of my life, standing…”
“I love you”, she said.
“Not enough”, he smiled at her.
“I’m so sorry!”, she cried now, burying her face in his chest.
He comforted her, caressing the back of her hair with his hand, and embracing her with his other arm. He eyed the precipice; the fall, the drop. He wanted freedom. He wanted peace. He wanted to jump. But he could not bring himself to let go of her.
When she looked up, he was crying too.
“Kiss me”, she asked of him.
“I want to”, he replied, “I want you to kiss me with obsession. I want you to want me selfishly, and rue if I can’t be completely yours. I am insane. I want you for me. This is how I would kiss you. Deranged. How will you kiss me ?”
“In some ways…”, she answered, “…you still want me to jump.”
“I’m already falling”, he said.
“I don’t want you to be alone”, she told him, “I want to be with you.”
“But you’re not”, he explained.
She did not have a response. Her glance fell, and she turned her back to him.
“I’m sorry”, he said, “I’m sorry for my faults, my complications. I love you too. With all my energy and devotion and purpose. I’m sorry if that scares you. I’m sorry if that’s not the way to love. I’m sorry you had to fall in love with me …”
“I’m not”, she replied, still not facing him. “I just wish this wasn’t about your jump!”, she suddenly turned to him, “I wish we could jump together, our own jump!”
“My jump is the one of the needy”, he explained, “My jump is the one for the ill. I need this because I am weak and I can’t overcome it. I need this because I am sick. My mind is sick. My heart is sick. I need love to wrap me as if it were made for me . I need love to kill me because I know not any more life without it. My jump is to love me !”
“I love you and yet I cannot jump…”, she sighed.
“I know”, he spoke softly, “Your freedom lies in that you don’t have to jump!”
“No, because I am bound by my love for you!”, she protested.
“Then be free”, he told her, “Leave me to gaze at this unhealthy precipice, alone! Leave me to wander in my own unresolved wait!”
“I don’t want to leave you!”, she cried at him, “I want to wait with you! I want to wait for you…”
“And if I jump …?”, he turned his eyes from hers, and towards the drop.
“Don’t ”, her voice caressed him. She embraced him in a tight hug. Warm and beautiful. He cried again.
“It is I who is bound to you !”, he said, “I will live, forever wanting to jump without giving it a second thought… But never without you. I will live, always standing here, never without you.”
She kissed him. The best way she could.
And in some ways… they fell together.
by: Rubén
Roob'n
